Thursday, March 17, 2005
I am not normally what you would call a spineless damsel in distress. In fact, I have been told that I am a "scary girl" because I look like I can make men wither with a single raise of an eyebrow (thanks a lot, Kookie. But then again, you know what they say about birds of the same feather...). Some people call it having an air of confidence. Some say that it is being a "you go girl!" girl. Some people just plainly call it being a bitch. Either way, it doesn't bother me. For one thing, it's a great quality control measure when it comes to guys, and it definitely wards off indecent advances from sleezy guys... or so I thought.
The dynamic at our workplace is very interesting. We spend a big chunk of our work day in banks, since our market is their client base. Because of this, our rapport with the back staff, most especially the bank manager, is crucial to our productivity. I wouldn't exactly call it kissing ass, but we do have to make nice with them. Normally, I have no problem at all getting along with people. In fact, I have a knack for dealing with co-workers. Right now, I actually enjoy going to work every morning because of the people, and I feel like the past few months of blood, sweat and tears is paying off because I am finally getting the knack of doing my job, and I am slowly earning the respect of my collegues and superiors. For the most part, at least.
One bank manager I was assigned to has been very nice to me. In fact, as soon as I was on board, he made every effort to make sure I was comfortable with his branch. There was next to no superior-subordinate gap with him, which made my job a whole lot easier. In no time, we were kidding around like old buddies. He would offer to take me to my next appointments, and I gladly obliged because it would give me a chance to build rapport with him even more. One time we were on our way to Makati, he started talking about personal matters. I am very uncomfortable with this, since I do not like to mix work with my personal life, but hey, any rapport was good rapport right? I suppose it was a good thing because he was starting to think of me as an equal. I was beginning to convince myself that the conversation wasn't as inappropriate as I thought, when he reached over to grab something from the glove compartment and his hand accidentally brushed against my thigh.
Cool it Tina, it was an accident. And I didn't think about it again.
I then started to feel a bit off when he would make comments with sexual undertones more and more often. He would always have something to say about what I was wearing, and even when I was quietly working at my table, I would always feel him staring at me from across the room for some reason. He started to touch my arm more and more often when he had something to say to me. I noticed that I would unconsciously never enter the pantry whenever I knew that he was in there alone. I thought that if I stopped joking around with him, he would start treating me a little more professionally. After all, I wasn't on his payroll.
Last week, this balding forty-something bank manager leaned over, and said something explicit and lewd to me, his face literally an inch away from my ear (I can't even publish what he said to me here, it is that disgusting.). I was shocked. Right then, I knew that it wasn't something I could brush off anymore. I couldn't continue working there. I tried to regain my composure, I quietly fixed my things and got the hell out, and I haven't reported there since. I will have to sooner or later, but I already told my boss about the incident, and she gave me permission to leave that branch out for now.
"Who would have thought back in college that we would actually have to deal with these issues? I mean, we were so intimidating, and we were so in control!" Kookie made this point when I told her about all of this last night (I won't even start about her issues.). It made me think a little. In a few years, I have morphed into a commoner in the real world from an idealistic college student who felt like she would take the world by storm when she graced it with her presence. Boy, what a few years in the workforce does to you. Now, whenever I meet students from my alma mater, I always say to myself, "was I really that smug? Wait till he actually gets a taste of the real world."
For the first time since this incident, I am going to admit that I am scared. This is as real as it can get, and I am not entirely sure that I know what to do. Even "scary girls" like me go through issues like this after all.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
My pc is in the ICU. Hopefully, she will survive the treatment.
In the meantime, please bear with my blogspot hibernation. I will be back in circulation soon.
About the Author
I have quit trying to figure out the inner workings of God's mind. I have learned to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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